Gift giving can be difficult. How do you find the perfect gift for those you care about most? I try to put a lot of effort into the gifts I give loved ones but sometimes it feels like I am buying things people do not need and may not even want (despite my best and most thoughtful efforts).

A few years ago, a family member suggested making a donation to her favorite organization rather than giving her a gift. Unexpectedly, all of the members of that branch of the family decided that they too would rather opt for donations made to their favorite organizations rather than receive a gift. I agreed- why add “things to a pile” when our piles are already full.

Now many branches of my family do the same thing- give to organizations that serve others- rather than give material gifts to each other. My husband and I like to give online to those organizations on Christmas Day. It feels like it fits in with the holiday– being appreciative of what we have and what we can give.

I agonize each year over what to choose and sometimes give a couple of options. In the past Tim and I have chosen Polar Bears International, the Oregon Humane Society, Pacific Pug Rescue, Maua Methodist Hospital, and other organizations that are close to the heart.

One of my favorite parts of this tradition for one of those branches of family is we share the organizations we choose for the year and explain why we chose them. For example, this year we each chose something that had significant personal impact on the family.

My Mom, Ann, chose the Africa University Scholarship Endowment. Gifts help with scholarships for students of Africa University in Mutare, Zimbabwe. My Mom’s Conference within the United Methodist Church (The Upper New York Conference) is running a three year campaign to help support the endowment and my Mom is definitely doing her part! She serves on the Task Force supporting the endowment in her Conference and it is close to her heart due to relationships she made early in her ministry.

One of the degrees offered at Africa University is a degree in Peace, Leadership, and Governance (PLG). I’ve never heard of such a degree but wish I had known about it as I was choosing my degree path years ago. My Mom told me that a PhD is now being offered in PLG. Students from all over Africa attend the University with the majority of students coming from Zimbabwe. I truly believe that giving people the opportunity of education can mean boundless possibilities and this Christmas our family gives to the project in support of that education and in support of my Mom’s efforts.

My sister Trish, her husband, and daughter Cora chose Hayden’s Helping Hands. Hayden’s Helping Hands helps parents with medical expenses after experiencing the birth of a stillborn baby.

For the life of me, I am not sure of any pain more distinct and painful than of a parent or family member who experiences the loss of a child – whether born stillborn or living only a short life. The pain is potent, sharp, and indescribable. That pain is even sharper when the parents struggle with the mounting bills well after the child passes away. Hayden’s Helping Hands helps with those expenses.

Stillborns are not something often spoken about and not always acknowledged fully by people who do not know how to understand the grief. But by giving to Hayden’s Helping Hands, my family can do something to walk families through this pain.

My stepbrother Greg chose the Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation. As true for everyone, he chose an organization that has significant meaning to him personally.

Greg’s friend and coworker, Steve, battled Multiple Myeloma for a couple of years before he passed away from the disease in 2014. Steve had a large impact on Greg and Greg described him as, “extremely kind, nice, funny” and a “wonderful wonderful coworker and friend”.

Multiple Myeloma is a blood cancer that forms in a type of white blood cell called a plasma cell. It causes cancer cells to grow in the bone marrow and is very painful.

Employees, including Greg, at the place where they both worked raised funds to help pay for Steve’s expenses and time away from work. Greg walked Steve through the journey and lost a dear friend to the disease. So, the family will donate in Greg’s honor and Steve’s memory.

My stepsister Pam, her husband Ed, my Aunt Becky, Uncle Jim, Tim, and I chose Maua Methodist Hospital’s Operational Outreach program. 

The fact that they chose this project for 2014 was an honor for Tim and I. Pam, Ed, Aunt Becky, and Uncle Jim, are huge supporters of several organizations. In fact, they also volunteer their time with some of those organizations. But for this year, they chose to support this program due to Tim’s and my experiences in September with Maua Methodist Hospital.

The Operational Outreach program supports healthcare in remote areas of Kenya. The program also helps promote education and awareness in those areas. The education includes how to protect against and prevent diseases, how to care for others and recognize illnesses, and other resources available through the amazing work that the hospital does for Kenyans. Some of these projects also help support deworming of school children and medical clinics such as the one we helped with in Ithata, Kenya.

It’s funny, as a child I agonized about if I should ask for a kitten or a dollhouse (ended up asking for both). Now, Tim and I agonize if we should ask our family to donate to wildlife groups that help Polar Bears, elephants, or organizations such as the hospital who serve people halfway across the planet. But no matter what, these gifts the families make are the most meaningful and more further reaching than a kitten or a dollhouse.

I’m honored to be a part of my family.