I’m feeling grateful for gratitude.

I’ve tried to document my daily grateful for each day in November. The process of thinking upon what there is to be grateful for becomes easier as the days pass. I notice myself thinking about my gratitude for cool air, for pug kisses, for time with family, for socks, for warm coffee, for kitty purrs, or for the way the phone can just “magically” hook up to the car’s bluetooth (AH-mazing!). I drive on my commute home and think of all I have to be grateful for in life. The small, or the seemingly mundane, become more and more visible to me every day and I am grateful.

November is a month of sad memories for me. I spent the entire month of November 1989 in a hospital (I’m sure there is a future blog there…) and so I associate the fall holiday month with depression, hospital food, and loneliness. For my entire life I spent time in November away from one or more parents and I associate the month with tears and loss. My father was in the hospital during a dark November and I remember the strain and sadness I felt. My dear Grandmother passed away in November and I think of losing her when I see November on the calendar. And now, in 2015, my Mom had surgery for a difficult diagnosis to comprehend. But when I think of all there is to be grateful about during the month- it makes the time seem brighter and much more hopeful.

In 2003, I was married to my now husband, Tim. We were a young couple and just starting out so we received many gifts from generous friends and family. I always worked hard to express my appreciation because I am always so grateful and amazed when people go out of their way for others.

A former coworker took me aside and told me that she thinks I was too thankful. That “some” people felt I was going overboard on my thank yous. This comment made me extremely self-conscious about saying thank you. If I can’t be grateful, then what’s the point of receiving? How could I accept gifts or gestures when I can’t be grateful?

After a long while feeling conflicted about this quandary, I decided to simply let it go. If I feel grateful- I’ll say something. I’ll say thank you for the smallest of gestures. I feel grateful for the commonplace and the extravagant. And no one can tell me that I can’t be grateful.

I’m grateful for things people do and also what circumstances provide. I am grateful for the blessings I have because of where I was born and the family I was born into so very long ago. I’m grateful for my friends- both friends for certain chapters of life and friends for a lifetime. I’m grateful to be alive and all that entails. I’m grateful to experience heartache, hardship, love, and life lessons. I’m grateful that I am learning to never take anything for granted.

I’ve decided to continue my gratitude blogs. Probably won’t be every day, but I’ve decided to continue. Why? Because being grateful is never a bad thing- it only makes us grow and learn to live life to its fullest.

And I am grateful.