One of the biggest surprises for me after having a child is the necessary evilness of breast pumping . It has taken over my life. I pump at least six times a day for at least twenty minutes each. This means at the very least, I am hooked up to a tiny machine for two hours a day.

Long before I gave birth, my husband and I decided I should breastfeed for as long as I could, but at a minimum for one year. Since I needed to back to work after three months, I knew pumping would eventually become a part of my life so that Finn could eat while I was at work.

However, Finn had different plans. He’s not a fan of nursing (we try a couple minutes each day, even now at almost four months, but he does it more for fun than anything else) and I’m about to be done with the whole nursing process and just go with the bottle altogether. But, since he didn’t want to nurse for nourishment beginning from the start- even with multiple lactation consultations and classes- I’ve been pumping since day one.

Pumping doesn’t hurt, but it’s limiting. I am stuck in one spot for the duration of a pump – unless I want to manually pump which takes longer and is done with my hands. My sister bought me a car adapter for my electric pump so I can pump on car rides (when I’m not driving) which is probably my favorite spot to pump as I have nothing else to do.

The pumping is terribly disruptive at work. I have to pump three times during work time and it breaks my day up into chunks. I have to stop whatever project I’m doing to take the time to pump for 20 minutes or so. I feel distracted when I approach the pumping time thinking about logistics or when I need to be in the room. I do try to take work into the pump room and use a hands free device, but it’s still distracting.

Pumping is for me, a very necessary evil.

However, I am so grateful I have a work that has made it as easy for me as possible. Legally, they have to offer a space and allow me to pump on my breaks. But my work has put a pumping room in my department, just steps (well, about five cube lengths) from my desk. It’s private, has a lock, and a comfortable chair. I am grateful that I at least can leave my pumping gear in the room during the work day, and not feel so conspicuous when I go to and from the room.

So, even through the evil- I am grateful for what I’m given.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.